COJACKED

I shall do a mundane, run-of-the-mill post about my day.
Oh, and I've realised that it's basically about time for me to move to a new address as I usually do every few months, owing to my complete inability to stay faithful to even my own morals.
Okay, I've made my new eljay.
It's got the exact same feel, so no worries.
That was to reassure myself, okay.
And the name was in inspiration from Kafka On The Shore, an inherently disturbing book.
Even so, I likey.
And like the whole name was from somebody who should be credited as LEGGY.
YEAH.
Shut up, Annabella.
(:

Backstage in high heels and painted on jeans
Probably had the most devious eyes I'd ever seen
Told me she was twenty-two she was only seventeen

http://kafkalee.livejournal.com

Went past the Mickey D's with metal detectors, past Cathay and all the memories.
Heartached for about a few seconds.
-
I honestly want to run away to a small Greek island off the Turkish border with you.
We'd smell the shish kebab from Asia Minor and hold hands the stars at night.
-
Hello, CNY, with all your red packets.

"You're in love!"
"...Yiyun, if you were any slower you'd be going backwards."
:D
Because life's never too short for getting inebriated over Hoopers' Blackcurrant Cordial and air.
OBS tomorrow, and for like the whole week.
O:
The lyrics to the current song I'm listening to are slightly disturbing.
Ahwell.
(:

Well I-I, I wanna be your lover
I wanna be your man
I want you to understand

And I-I, I wanna open your door
And love you 'til you're sore
That works for - wait a minute, wait a minute!

I wanna be your thing, your anything your everything

Well I-I, I wanna be your lover
I wanna be your man
I want you to understand

And I-I, I wanna be you lover, baby
I wanna be your girl
Blow a kiss and change the world

Because you still make me feel all warm and tingly, inside.

Oh, Bryn! You see in the dark
Right past the fireflies that sleep in my heart
You know, it's easy to see
Wait for the season to come back to me

 

Then I see you
You're walking cross the campus
Cruel professor
Studying romances
How am I supposed to pretend
I never want to see you again?
How am I supposed to pretend
I never want to see you again?

Life is a bitch, but I like it that way.
 

Bipbipbipbip-booooop.
"I think my heart is malfunctioning."
"But you're always malfucntioning."
-
"I swore I've loved you from the start-"
"Okay, but I never said you had to sing about it."
-
Everything's still a mess, but somehow, I feel much better.
Mmm-hmm.
I have a talent for staying out of a camera's way, yes I do.
 

Beautiful eyes in disguise, they will arise.
I despise any man who will take them away, beautiful eyes. 

Rewrote this post about five times.
Cancelled out all that I really wanted to say.
Because, it really is no one else's business but my own.
-
Ultraviolet reminds me of January the first, when I was possibly much less broken and, somehow, less put-together than I am now.
-
Nights have been unbearable, without you.
-
I have weird dreams.
The lastest one was of Kimbo and if you gave her a pill, she would turn into some kung-fu bimbo.
HAHAHA.
Is cool.

Visions so insane
Travel unraveling through my brain
Cold when I am denied it
Your light is ultraviolet,
Ultraviolet

My life is currently in shreds.
Thanks to some callous remarks from Noelle, a few noncommital comments from others and a lot of pessimistic thoughts.
Yes, I have to stop thinking so much.
-
Dreams make me tired.
And I'm dreaming every single night, mostly about the same thing.
Hmm.
This is the part where Kimbo hits me and tells me to, once again, stop thinking.
Nyahaha.
Everything just went pear-shaped.

OMG.
Schmoopy love.
I am astounded by love.
Honestly!

“Of course I wasn’t joking. Are you willing to be my permanent, exclusive lover or not?”
“What if I’m not?”
Harry grinned. “I’ve been called stubborn.”
To his relief, Draco burst out laughing. “You mean you will continue to stalk me daily until I give in?”
“You haven’t seen stalking,” Harry assured him.
“And if I date other people?”
“I will hunt them down and hex them without mercy.”
“That doesn’t seem very Savior-like.”
“I’m willing to become the new Dark Lord if necessary.”
Draco’s smile was brilliant. “You would become the new Dark Lord for me? You would sacrifice honour and nobility and all that is good and kind?”
“Well, I’m hoping it won’t come to that, but yeah,” Harry admitted.
Draco pulled him into a bruising kiss and then whispered, “I guess I’m yours, Harry.”
Harry snuggled him close, basking in the wonder of utter contentment.
“Mine,” he said possessively. - Here We Come Wassailing by dysonrules .

AWESOMENESS.
I feel like a kid again.
Many billion thanks to Den for making me feel better than I did.

Tried to tell you but you looked at me like I'm an angel underneath-
I feel like laughing.
The story is coming along remarkably well.
I think the best thing about awkward silences is the tension.
To quote from a book-
"We are talking. We just don't have anything to say."
Crying competitions at Mickey D's, giggling because we're all swept up in our feelings and pretending we're acting.
I get the best lines of the script.

No, you've got wits, you've got looks
You've got passion, but I swear that you've got me all wrong
-
You said you don't know me, and you don’t even care
And she said
'You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains.'- Boston
-
Laughing.
You can't have everything, but I'll settle for seeing you pass me by in corridors.
I'm willing to bet we won't even look at each other.
And gradually we'll forget us.
I can't wait.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
-
I'll be true, I'll be useful
I'll be cavalier, I'll be yours, my dear
And I'll belong to you
If you'll just let me through
-
Happy New Year.

Yiting.
Like I said, I hope for the best but expect the worst. So, technically, I never expected anything from you.
There.

Screaming out The Hand That Feeds, Boston and Don't Believe In Love at the top of my lungs as I career wildly along the beach on a rickety bicycle, ignoring the loud rings of the bicycles behind me, pissed by my constant monopolizing of the road, because I swerve dangerously even on a straight road.
:D
I swear, that was so innuendo-filled I'm sure even Kimbo gets it.
"I fell for her first! So you see, I have the talent to see those with potential..."
"Sexually-wise. Too bad your talent is only used for your own advantage- OW!"
:D
When I am addicted, I fall hard.

You can have my isolation
You can have the hate that it brings
You can have my absence of faith
You can have my everything.

I apologize that once again I'm not in love
But it's not as if I mind that your heart isn't exactly breaking.

Phone calls at night when I'm hurriedly scribbling an answer to another math question, pen poised almost comically in midair as the camera dollies around to focus on my stunned expression when your voice enters my consciousness, no, it's not you, fuck, it is you, hello. Merry Christmas, you said, and I find it in me to say the same.
Static fuzzes over your laugh and I know that my mind is fucking with me again, because there is no way in hell you'd call me at eleven. I'm not her, the voice says, and I know the person's right, she's not you. And I fiddle with the car-plate object d'art sitting on my desk rather innocently, the letters spelling out something I can never do. S-I-M-P-L-I-F-Y, it urges non-threateningly, and I shove it aside to make space for my new books.
"Merry Christmas," the person that's not you says again, before erupting into a fit of giggles. "I can't believe you thought I was her." After a five-minute long conversation, I hang up, mind almost as numb as my ears. I want to throw something at the wall, but there is nothing remotely throwable around. I count to get rid of my hate, feelings, mishmash of whatever it is churning about in my stomach.
One.
One two three four five six seven eight nine ten.
Won't you come back to me, again?
One two three four five six seven eight nine ten.
So much for a better, newer year.
-
If I don't believe in love what do you get from me
When I don't believe in love nothing is real for me
If I don't believe in love you're getting too close to me
It's why you have to leave.

You know that look right before you cry, oh.
-
Anger. Blinding, hateful, malevolent anger.
-
Everyone has to go check out hd_holidays , it is awesomeeee. Here's an excerpt.

'You’ve earned it now, I know it’s true.
And I’ll tell you again that I love you.'

“Rot,” said Ron, slouching into the gaping maw of his armchair. “Utter girly rot. Blech. I kept waiting to hear ‘My love for you will never fade/So hurry up and let’s get ourselves laid."

I've realised that I can feel the emotions in the story more intently than I feel my own. Amazing, isn't it?
-
Detatchment.
-
Though miles away I may be,
I will be with you and you with me.
So this is the gift I give to you
This Christmas morn, this year so new –
Good-bye, my love. I wish you well
And may you forever burn in hell.
-
Excerpts  and poems come from For Whatever Ails You for scarlet_malfoy. And yes, if it wasn't obvious enough, I cried loads and loads over this. Crying happens to be one of my fatal character flaws.
-
"OH NO. Stop thinking. Stop thinking!"
Thank you, Kimbo.
(:

"I'm doing this out of the goodness of my heart."
"You don't have a heart."
-
Why?

-

( I wrote your name in the sky. )

I had that dream again.

I made a pact with the devil, and he would give me a pair of wings in exchange for my soul. I said yes, and he tied a heavy block of stone the size of a large tombstone to my back. And we were on a cliff.
"What are you doing?"
"Do you trust me?"
"Yeah. Yes, I do." And he pushed me over, and I was falling. Falling. The stone on my back crumbled and I had two beautiful wings, stone wings, shedding the gray to become feathery angel ones. And I flew.
In a way, it's exchanging a form of freedom for another.
-
We'll fly, by wheat fields and water towers.

Today saw me waking up to what was most probably one of the most beautiful rainy mornings ever. The sky was blanketed in cool, smooth gray, enveloping everything in a muted white.
Beautiful.
I will take after Theresa and write my dedications now.

( DEDICATIONS. LOVE YOU GUYS, AND TEAM LYD FOR FUCKING EVER. )

I don't have much of a mood left after the last one.
I'll post later.

Mmm - but it's poetry in motion
And when she turned her eyes to me
As deep as any ocean
As sweet as any harmony
Mmm - but she blinded me with science
And failed me in geometry